its such a pleasure having you again.when you were gone i was all lost.why were you so far away from me?i was miserable.i felt unwanted.like i was just thrown to a corner and no one wants to ever pick me up again.i was lonely.i had to go through everything by myself.it was painful.now that you are back again,i have someone to fall back on.someone who will share with me my every ups and down.im glad.
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i would like to apologise to you.my words may not be pleasant to hear.im frank.i am who i am and no one can change that.my reaction are always immediate.i dont think wat i say.im sorry to have said that to you abt her.i was just answering to wat ur qn was for me.she is actually a friendly girl.thats all i can say about her for now.but i dont wanna judge her just by my first meeting with her.i dont wanna repeat my mistakes again.cuz ive learnt my lessons.i believe you know what i mean.im sorry again.
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commontest.notstudying.hangingout.voiddecks.macD.icecream.7-11.lays.geetha.discussion.bitching.people-watch.
thats what my entire week is filled with.but anyhow thank god that common test is over now.though it doesnt matter much to me but oh well...stil worried for my postings.as usual.stil cant get over it.realli hope that it will b out tmrw.
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geetha its been a reali fun-filled week with you.shared a lot of stuffs together.3 straight days.it was reali something that we never do.haha!i learnt alot.i just hope that people change for the better one day.im sorry too if ive caused u many many miseries along the way.

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i woke up this mornin
the night had been so long
it seems that i have had my mind on you
well the day, it has begun,
i cant get a minute without you
youre always on my mind
and i cant live another day without you
cause the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
then a week goes by
you know it takes my breath away
all the minutes in the world could never take your place
ive been trying to call you all day
cause i got so many things that i want to say
im going crazy, cause all my thoughts are filled with you
theres got to be some way i can get through to you
i cant keep myself from thinking about you
its because i love you
ill call it desperation, cant you see it in my eyes?

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i wonder where you are.


i wonder what you doing at this very moment.


i wonder what u have been up to.


i wonder hows life been for you lately.


u r so far far away.


reali within my reach.


come nearer will u?


i dont want u to just drift away...

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Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jetplane, far away
And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But, gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget of the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Breakaway
Breakaway

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still worried for my application.i wndr if i get it or not.esp when i checked the jpae website ydy n there wasnt a tick beside the 'received your application' or something like that.gosh!cant wait man.my mind is badly not at ease right now.dis week is common test & im like not gvg a shit about it.oh well...just cannot be bothered & everyone noes that.
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i miss everyone.


i miss u nasha.miss your craps.miss your cute-ness.


i miss u helmi.miss eating with you.


i miss u hui wen.i miss seeing you writing ayu's name in japanese.


i miss u geetha.i noe i go to sch with u like everyday but i still miss u.


i miss u yani & farna.miss gossipping with u both.miss dancing with the both of u.yani been a great teacher.n me,a super sloppy student.


i miss u riyah.long time didnt hear ur cutie smiles n those cute remarks.


i miss u hidayah.long time i didnt c u.long time im being left with no mummie..i soo miss hvg my mummie.;)


i miss u khamelia.my darling cucu.


i miss u my dearest old frends.wish we cud meet up sometime.


i miss u papa.though we hd a great wkend together,i still miss u.every new wk comes i just hate it.cuz i noe i wont be able to c u at all sometimes.


i miss u lil princess.yar we always like together & all,i still miss u.


i miss u honey.just met u just now.its great having them but i hpe to hv a quiet moment with u.i miss those moments with u.


i just miss everyone that is out there.reali everyone.every single one.


I MISS ALL OF YOU!!

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just cudden get hold of myself.im so overly-confused now.i dont know what i actually want.i feel my life is so incomplete.its empty.i dont seem to be able to content myself somehow.no matter wat i do i feel no satisfaction.nothing.just full of emptiness.cant figure out what is it thats lacking.this kind of feeling is what i hate most.i feel so helpless.is it cuz i have too many stuffs that im thinking about,so much so that it is affecting me?

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maybe im happy maybe im not.maybe im angry maybe im sad.maybe im bored.maybe im getting impatient as well.
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i found out some stuff n was shocked to hear it.but i did feel like its pretty weird & funny.but i think its something reali new that i must discover about myself.cuz its reali interesting.i never thought that i m either.anyways its was reali gd that at least some soul found out something xtraordinary abt me.tanx whuever u r for saying that im ARROGANT & like to act HIGH CLASS. for whuever who noes me,can u pls tell me frankly whether i m or nt.n tell that person?
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geetha!hung out w u!yay-ness!its was great.its been so long rite?n where ever we sat sat just now its like our first time rite?haha!its fun lah.:D oh yar pple...geetha just bought a new pair of earrings.1 side is white n the other is pink.nice choice babe.its pretty.jealous cant buy as well.
:( must save $$.or else cnt go watch my boeing boeing n porcelain.haha!so pathetic.
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my designer partner called me!hany.so surprised that she called.hey babe it was nice to hear from u just now.so miss u.cant wait to see u around soon.its reali been a yr that we've not met.ill get back to u soon & we shall meet up k?and im so looking forward to work with u again!
.............................................................
HONEY i sooooo missing now.



love you love you love you

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nnnaaassshhhhhaaaa!!!my darling in class.haha!tanx for that test-tube.its soooooo sweet of u!muahs!saya saaaaayaaaang awak!*winkz*
.............................................................
sch was fun just now.esp geog period.haha!the tsunami thingy.me & nasha reali burst out laughing out loud in front of the class.i tink its just our luck to get tt of all words that we can get.haha!such coincidence.n yay!tmrw is the last day of sch for this week.theres common test next wk though.im not even preparing anthing.still waiting for the reply...*signz*dis is reali taking too long.reali cant take it anymore.
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i swear that wasnt wat i asked for.i swear that wasnt wat i was looking forward to.im there to meet you,to confide in you.y do you things that u nv do?since when?not only m i hurt emotionally,but also physically.i know i was at fault as well but i dont think there is a need for you to resort to that.i dont want this to get worse.im scared.can u not do it anymore?i beg u.totally hate it.
...............................................................

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why is it sometimes people just cudden be bothered about how others feel?can u imagine if u r in his shoes?do u think its gg to be easy for u?it wont!definitely.u cant possibly asked him to break just like that rite?its so unfair.u gave him only wat 2 days?its too short.when he told me what happened,i reali felt sad for him.i mean he is like a brother to me.he sounded so down when he called me just now.poor thing man.u cant do this.its not like u r never in a relationship b4.i blv he is able to handle things well n be a fair person.y do have to listen to others?u shud at least watch him how he do his work b4 assuming that he is not gg to be fair to others.i bet he is mature enuf to be able to differentiate between work n play.he obviously know what to do when.pls lah be realistic will u?when he asked for a delay u only gv him 1 xtra day.do u think tts gg to make a big difference?i doubt so.theres alot of things to consider u noe.i didnt know u wil go to the xtent that u want him to break up with her.breaking up isnt easy..
i sorry to hear that you have to go thru all dis.im feeling the pain as well.but nonetheless you can always confide in me ok?and pls do update me with everything.ill be waiting.love u.

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happy 20th anniversary daddie & mummie!me love u loads & loads.may ur relationship last!i pray for u k?;)
.............................................................
holiday break is over.;(when its the good time it always have to end reali fast.got to meet my best cousins over at malaysia again though.had lotsa fun!:)we hung out till like late at nite n only went to bed when the day break.amazingly on the second nite my 5th aunt joined us till the wee hours.played stupid games,dance stupid dance & she told us about her love story.it was reali wonderful.especially when u dont get to meet & spend time with your relative that often.like for me i only get to meet them once in like 3-4mths.so treasure every moments!:D tanx guys for those great time!cant wait to c yall again in june & hang out at the beach this time!reali xcited!
............................................................
i miss you now.y are u so far away?y do u always have to do dis to me?make me miss u?
............................................................
found two production.boeing boeing & porcelain.cant seem to wait to watch them.its been so long.looking forward to watch it!:) anyone wanna go with me?dont wori the tix are not that expensive.its under 30bucks.:)

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thank you dear for the great company todae.thank you also for getting lost with me (in singapore)just now.haha!and thank you for being whiny when you were hungry just now.you were like small kid just now.wanna eat,but dont wanna walk.siow!walk far abit want to whine.dont wanna walk then how you wanna eat?reali siow!ok,and most of all thank you for making my day.it was reali good to have you.its been so long since we do our stupid stuffs.its like we are re-living our past.getting lost and all.haha!its just wonderful..love you like soooo much!
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i met quite a number of people todae.so unxpected.met my long lost mum.haha!miss her loads! hehe!when she met him just now she said smthing like 'eh!masih hidup?'haha!of course he is still alive dayah,tts y he was there with me.haha!also met nasri,fauzi n mr fung at cck interchange.haha!they going to cck stadium's gym.cnt believe that they going to gym together.haha!funny.still cant get over it till now.haha!
...............................................................

 -capture those moments ;

a day.an odinary day.nothing much.just the four walls.as usual.nonetheless hope for a better life,a better day.things at home is still stagnant.reali want things to go back as normal.pls....
.............................................................
had a good fight with him.over small matters.but i guess its good that we fight cuz its been sometime that we didnt.not that i love it.but the fights that we had bond us.he did said hurtful stuffs to me.like xpected.he is angry and not in the right state of mind.so all those words just came out.but nvm.he dont mean it.so its ok.:)meeting him again tomorow!yay-ness!cant wait to c u again baby!

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!

muahmuahmuah

 -capture those moments ;

new skin.hope for new hope of life for me.looking forward for a better day.so far so good.things getting better.alhamdulillah.
.............................................................
he is coming over tomorrow.cant wait to see him again.how wonderful.at least he made me feel at ease.wats more he always give me wat i want.
.............................................................
nasha,dont worry.im fine.btw thnx for msging me to ask how im duin.im duin ok babe.*winks* i miss you so much.im sorie ive to cancel our date yesterday.maybe another day ok?(:just wondering,hows the walkathon?
..............................................................
did shop quite abit.again.shopping throughout the weekend.reali made me feel so good.indulge myself with junks.should stop those soon.as things between us gets better,i hope everything will go back to normal again real soon.dont wanna suffer no more.

 -capture those moments ;

just came back.had a gd time spending time with the both of u at taka jst nw.tnx for entertaining me.i tried so hard to just forget watever that happened at home.though i was laughing & enjoying myself,at times it just come back to me.sweethearts tnx for all the laughter and crapz.and honey tnx for always encouraging & assuring me that things is going to be alright.oh and not forgetting watching mrbean,the cartoon version,at sony ericsson service centre.haha!its was fun.it was great having handsome's company.it was even very much better with u ard.wish could be longer.
..............................................................
its reali bad now at home.everything doesnt seem to be the way its suppose to be.i dont understand why.i have no idea why it happen.its like too sudden.i need a good explanation.one by one.every single detail to why all this is happening.can someone please do the honour?
..............................................................
to handsome:dont you worry.she will definitely call.i noe waiting for someone to call aint fun.but just b patient.sooner or later she will.and everything is going to be ok.smile always.cuz u wont noe wen someone will fall in love with your smile.anyway you look better when you smile.dont think too much.
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honey,miss you sooo very muches.glad you were there.felt much better after sharing with you everything.felt lighter.tnx so much dear.looking forward to see you again.




loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou






kisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisss






hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs






fydfydfydfydfydfydfydfydfydfydfydfydfyd

 -capture those moments ;

she made me wait.so long.but still didnt turn up.did try contacting her but no response from her.im so angry.but yet curious.are you ok?did anything happen or anything?im disappointed. but nevermind.just dont repeat it again.

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boring day.its just not a good day.somehow it just suck.reali suck.i dunno how i feel.wats my emotion?m i happy?sad?what about angry?i dont know.my mind is so mixed up.but mixed up about wat?what m i thinking about?what do i have to think anyway?just dont seem to be able to focus.physically im there.u see me.but spiritually im somewhere else.i dont know where i m.im lost.help me...

..............................................................................

todae.4yrs7mths.thats long.many ups & downs that we have gone through together.but im glad that we are still hanging on.




My love for you will never end
You will always be a part of me
As long as time keeps on passing by
You will always be my baby boy.





many kisses & many hugs





sayangsayangsayangsayngsayangsayangsayang

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daddy y cnt you make up ur mind?now u wan me stay much longer there.ive been literally dragging myself to school & nw u asking me to only lv wen its confirm?thats the problem with u. u just doesnt seem to be able to make up ur mind.i dont want to take common test.i tink even if im gonna sit for it,it will definitely flop.i dont mind failing but u definitely do.u always do this to me.*signz*so should i listen to u or should i not?
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received a pretty good news todae.im choosen for friends of fajar award.so have to go back to fajar on 8th april for the speech day.*grinz*
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didnt go to school today.cuz i didnt want to hand in all those files,theres mgt pre-test,had to hand in mgt tutorials & didnt want to attend a workshop thats held after sch frm 1330-1630. while i was snoozing,nasha text me & said that its either i attend the workshop or gt an mc so that i dont have to pay the full amount for the workshop.troublesome.did went to gt an mc afterall.the doctor asked me this.'are you married?'haha!i tink i got that kind of qn frm doctors quite a number of times oready.cuz i tink im always hvg nausea,tummy discomfort,dis & that.haha!
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do you noe how much im missing you rite now?alot.i just cant wait to be able to be with you again on friday.time is reali ticking very slowly.wish i can fast forward the time.

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im thankful for the very start that i found you
im thankful that God bring us together,being friend at first and grew to something more
im thankful that your presence in my life had taught me valuable lessons that i might not know when im not with you now
im thankful that there is someone who risks their ears every now and then to hear me whine,cry and laugh!
im thankful that your ears cant talk!:)
im thankful that there is someone who cares for me
im thankful that there is a soul who dotes on me alot
im thankful that there is always someone to console me when i needed any
im thankful that i always have a shoulder to cry on
im thankful that there is someone who always give me words of encouragement whenever i feel like giving up
most of all,im thankful that im able to thank you now and my thank for u will go on and on cuz you've done so much for me.always bear in mind that whateveryou've done for me all this year,im grateful to you and you are very well appreciated.once again sweetheart,THANK YOU!

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sun,06/03:met this pretty cute guy at coffee bean,at JB.haha!i think it was just his hair n eyes.haha!u noe i hv dis fetish for curly hair.hahah!since last time lah..cnt be help.like khairul,my old sec sch mate.hehe!and his eyes were like so magnetic like my sch MJ's eyes.haha!i tink guys with those kind of eyes and curly hair are SEXY.haha!i went for shopping & bought new pair of ear studs(green & purple ones),skirt(green again) and a pair of sunglass(pink!!).and dis is my very first pair of sunglass noe..haha!think im getting more vain by the day..;)
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mon,07/03:hv to attend sch as usual.no choice..n just now mdm mesanas say must hand in SRP file n GP file on wed.what the hell?i didnt like do any of the SRP n nw she wants me to hand it in?bt do i still need to hand it in since its gg to b like my lst wk in sch?haha!i hvnt ask her lah.nvm cn ask her tmrw.
my class won the 2nd place for debate today.they did ok.bt i tink our content was much better than the a4s..but nvm gurls.u did our class proud by being able to beat c1 & a1!!reali proud of ya!esp for my darling partner,nasha n my baby,riyah!!muahsmuahs!hehe!i saaaayaaannng both of ya!
PE was terrible but yt fun.haha!cuz todae no velu...:(very sad noe..he's like my man!i nv gt xcited for PE before.nt until he becomes my PE teacher.he's such an aspiring man.haha!then ram took over & he made us run like mad dog noe.had to run for like 20mins up & down the slope & the stairs,as well as ard the track.siow!and i ran with riyah just nw!i love running with her.tnx baby for running with me.it was fun!hehe!he let us play our own game after that. me,nasha,riyah,aishah,SMURF,huiwen & geetha played soccer!n its was such a flop!haha!u noe girls play soccer,they will like scream n all?and wen the ball is coming,she will scream as well?haha!that was wt happened.haha!so funny.i managed to save a few balls though.haha!it was fun man..esp with my craziee classmates(animal farm,tts wat nasha call it)!but think its gonna be like my last PE with them..:(reali sad...but anyways i reali enjoyed myself for PE todae.THANKS BABEs FOR THE GD TIME!!*kisses for all of ya*

 -capture those moments ;

An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
" your name pls. " " abdul aziz " " sex? " " six times a week!! " " no, no, I mean male or female! " " doesn't matters, sometimes even camel " ;
**********
Twins were born to a Pakistani ,. he could not sleep for the whole night. why???? he kept wondering who is the father of the second child
**********
teacher : what do you want to become?
lil johny : doctor !!
teacher : why?
lil johny : coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
***********
Woman complaining to dentist: it's so painful, i'd rather have a baby than have a tooth removed. dentist : make up your mind soon! i'll adjust the chair accordingly.
**********
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying. why??? coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything
**********
A kid asked the priest " father, what is your pastime? " The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied " " Nun, my child, nun "

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Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
-John W. Gardner

i agree with dis saying.its true.just reflect on it and u will realise it.no matter what uve done in life theres no way that u can undo things.but u can always make it better.however it must b up to u whether u want or not.u decide.

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a whole lot of stuff been going on.up til now i stil dont get it.i dont fucking need you to control my fucking life.just mind your freaking own business.i dont need that kind of attention from u.you are giving me at the wrong time.thats what you always do.whats the problem this time?why do u always have to do it quietly?why cant you just say it to me straight to my face that you are fucking angry with me?you are damn conservative!get a life ok?whats wrong with being open?is it a crime to be telling the truth?cmon cant you just be like him?he talks to me.he advises me.he consoles me.he gives me encouragement.why cant you do just the same?what is so difficult by doing that?he can do it.but why cant you?i reali hope that you are able to open up your freaking mind and get a life!for gods sake.
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just yet another thing that i dont understand about people.like ive said,is it that hard to be frank?why do you dare to hate and not dare to admit it?you hate just act that way.thats no fucking need for you to act.NO NEED!dont you think others have no feelings?others are just like you.dont you realise?if you hate someone,for all you know theres more out there who hates you.you dont fucking know it cuz for all you know they are doing what you are doing to others.damn it!i reali think you must start thinking about this.or else better still just DIE!

 -capture those moments ;

didnt go to sch todae!haha!and i was out the whole day.ok now i feel smwhat relief cuz applied for my poly already.im reali praying that ill get to the course that i want!!plsplsplsplsplsplspls... *praying*talking about my relationship, i finally get to talk to him about how ive actualli felt abt everything so far.it was like confession time just now.i felt relief after letting him noe.cuz if i were to keep all to myself i think it will do us more harm than good.in fact i think we feel more comfortable with each other now cuz we know what each party expect frm the other.thank god that its getting better cuz i wudden want the 4yrs of life that i spent with him to go down the drain.. furthermore he meant alot to me!I LOVE YOU LOADS HONEY!*kisses for ya!*however im nw dreading to go to sch tmrw..haiz...I SOOO DUN WANNA GO TO SCHOOL!HELP!seeing those teachers,all those tutorials,n esp sm jackasses...*sigh*

 -capture those moments ;